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If you want to spice up a call with phone sex, start slowly by speaking in a low, soft tone and talk about something that will segue into steamier territory.

For more advice, like how to set up a sexy atmosphere to get in the mood for phone sex, scroll down. Did this summary help you?

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Learn why people trust wikiHow. Explore this Article parts. Related Articles. Article Summary. Author Info Last Updated: October 2, Part 1 of Set up a phone date.

While it's true that, as with any other kind of sex, phone sex can "just happen", the session is more likely to go well if you've planned ahead, especially if it's your first time doing it together.

Pick a time when you're both alone and free to let your inhibitions loose. If your partner is new to phone sex or feeling unsure, consider sending them this article, or reading it together.

Don't forget that you can always discuss what you'd like to do during phone sex before you start. Let loose and get in the mood.

It will be difficult for you to enjoy yourself if you feel tense or silly, so before you call, do whatever you need to do to get yourself comfortable and feeling sexy.

Let loose: Lie in bed for a while, browse the internet, have a glass of wine, jog on the spot, do a silly song and dance in front of the mirror -- anything that will allow you to release the tension from your body.

Get in the mood: Setting up a sexy atmosphere can help put you in the right frame of mind, so consider doing whatever you'd do to prepare for any other kind of sex.

Here are some ideas: Tidy up your room and make the bed Dim the lights, perhaps set up some candles Play soft music Have a bath or shower and a shave, if you like Think of a role play to spice up the call you two skinny dipping, etc.

Put on or take off! Part 2 of Begin the call. Once you have your partner on the phone, take things at a speed you're both comfortable with.

There's no "correct" way to have phone sex. If it helps you relax, spend a few minutes chatting before you get started A low, soft tone of voice or heavy breathing can help set the mood, but don't force it if doing so is unnatural for you: speaking and breathing comfortably in your normal tone of voice will be sexier than an awkwardly forced attempt at sounding sexy.

Introduce a casual topic that will segue nicely into sexy talk. Getting started is possibly the hardest part, especially if it's your first time!

Pick a topic that's easy for you to bring up, but which has the potential to spiral into steamier territory. Examples: How much you miss them, or wish they were with you What you would like to do if they were with you What you're wearing and how you look in it What you're doing How you're feeling Ask your partner to describe any of the above to you.

Escalate into sexy talk. Once you have the ball rolling and you're feeling comfortable, try getting bolder with your descriptions, or bring up new, sexier topics.

A good approach is to describe or ask your partner to describe, the following three things: What you're doing : Describe how you look and the way you're touching yourself.

Be as coy or as raunchy as you like! Ask for "advice" -- for example, "should I start playing with my underwear?

Don't feel bad if you're not comfortable with touching yourself -- you can still let them know that you're enjoying simply listening to them.

What you're imagining : This could be, for example, what you'd like to be doing with your partner, a moment from great sex the two of you have had in the past, or a mental image of what they're describing to you.

You might want to start out slow: begin with tame descriptions like "first, I'd stroke your hair" or "I really like the way your chest looks in a T-shirt", before moving on to steamier things like "then I'd kiss your neck" or "remember when you did that thing to me in the shower?

Moaning is a great way to communicate how good you're feeling. However, there's no need to do this if you're not comfortable with it. You can start with just letting your breath go at first, to help bring out little moans into louder moans.

Let them know when they've described or done something you really enjoyed. Likewise, don't be afraid to tell them when you don't enjoy something -- it'll allow the two of you to move on to something else that you'll both find enjoyable.

Masturbate and orgasm optional. Mutual masturbation and orgasm are excellent additions to phone sex, but they're not a requirement by any means.

Don't feel bad if your partner doesn't join you in masturbating. If you don't want to masturbate alone, ask them before you start if they'd be interested in joining you.

Likewise, don't get anxious if they start masturbating and you don't want to -- you're not obligated to join them.

Just enjoy listening to them pleasure themselves. Don't worry if one or both of you fail to reach orgasm. Think of it as the icing on the cake, rather than the goal of the exercise.

If you reach orgasm before your partner is ready to stop, don't go quiet! Continue talking to them, describing what you're feeling and imagining.

Finish having phone sex. The point at which you decide to stop is up to you. There's no need to wait for orgasm -- or, indeed, to stop just because you've both come.

To learn how to follow your partner's lead during phone sex, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker.

Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy.

Learn why people trust wikiHow. Explore this Article parts. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Author Info Last Updated: February 2, Part 1 of Plan your phone date wisely.

Try to plan your phone date so that you have at least an hour beforehand to relax and get in the right mindset.

Cross things off your to-do list. Give yourself some time before your phone date to work on the things that are stressing you out. In this case, set aside time before your chores for your romantic encounter.

Address your inhibitions. Try to figure out exactly what it is about phone sex that you find difficult to deal with. Or maybe you have trouble articulating your desires.

Releasing inhibitions has a lot to do with self confidence. To build your self confidence , try exercising regularly and keeping a journal in which you write at least 5 good things about yourself each day.

If you really struggle with finding yourself attractive and imagining that your partner could have desire for you, try focusing on what you find attractive in your partner.

Instead of focusing on the ways in which you feel unattractive, focus on the ways in which your partner turns you on.

Let go of your doubts. You might wonder whether phone sex can be sexy at all. Whatever your doubts are, you need to let them go. One way to let go of doubts is to write them all down.

Simply describing a previous romantic encounter with your partner could be a great start. You may also find it helpful to discuss your doubts with your partner.

That way, you can brainstorm ideas for easing your doubts together. Part 2 of Play soft music, light candles, use some epsom salts in the water to soften your skin.

This might also help you get in the mood. Play loud music and dance around your room. Dance silly, dance sexy — do whatever makes you feel good and relaxed.

Watch some fun videos online — cute animals and funny videos are great relaxation aids. Prepare for your phone date as you would a physical date.

Shower or have a bath, put on some perfume or cologne, and dress in something that you feel good in. Do your hair and, if you wear makeup, put a little on.

Set the scene. Ensure that you're somewhere private not at work, school, or some other public location where you feel comfortable to let go — this will likely be your bedroom or, if you live alone, your living room.

Light some candles and play some soft music. Start feeling sexy. Massage your neck, back, shoulders, thighs, or even your erogenous zones to start getting in the mood before your date begins.

Part 3 of Curb your laughter. Laughing at the wrong time can throw a wrench into any sexual encounter, whether it be in person, online, or on the phone.

If your concerns about laughing are making it difficult for you to enjoy phone sex, it may be best to tell your partner about it ahead of time.

What should we do if I laugh? If you and your partner are really comfortable with each other, then a bit of laughter won't ruin the sexual experience.

Work on recognizing when you're going to have a laughing fit and then kicking it aside, even if you have to acknowledge it before moving on.

Fake it until you make it. Do this for at least a few minutes — that might be all it takes for you to actually feel turned on and have more fun with it.

Close your eyes and visualize. Another way to step outside of yourself during phone sex is to close your eyes and visualize what you and your partner are describing.

Find your phone sex personality. If being yourself just isn't working when it comes to phone sex, try pretending to be someone else completely.

Having an alter ego can help you remove yourself from the experience. Maybe your alter ego has desires that you never knew you had.

You and your partner might even consider creating alter egos together — also known as role-playing.

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It might even help you become more comfortable with yourself, and it could help you and your partner bond too. Every day at wikiHow, we work hard to give you access to instructions and information that will help you live a better life, whether it's keeping you safer, healthier, or improving your well-being.

Amid the current public health and economic crises, when the world is shifting dramatically and we are all learning and adapting to changes in daily life, people need wikiHow more than ever.

Your support helps wikiHow to create more in-depth illustrated articles and videos and to share our trusted brand of instructional content with millions of people all over the world.

Please consider making a contribution to wikiHow today. Take an hour before the call to have a bath or listen to some music to ease your nerves.

It can also help to dress up like you normally would for a date, which will boost your confidence. Engaging in small talk before transitioning into dirtier stuff will make you feel more comfortable and increase the anticipation!

To learn how to follow your partner's lead during phone sex, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker.

Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy.

Learn why people trust wikiHow. Explore this Article parts. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Author Info Last Updated: February 2, Part 1 of Plan your phone date wisely.

Try to plan your phone date so that you have at least an hour beforehand to relax and get in the right mindset. Cross things off your to-do list.

Give yourself some time before your phone date to work on the things that are stressing you out. In this case, set aside time before your chores for your romantic encounter.

Address your inhibitions. Try to figure out exactly what it is about phone sex that you find difficult to deal with. Or maybe you have trouble articulating your desires.

Releasing inhibitions has a lot to do with self confidence. To build your self confidence , try exercising regularly and keeping a journal in which you write at least 5 good things about yourself each day.

If you really struggle with finding yourself attractive and imagining that your partner could have desire for you, try focusing on what you find attractive in your partner.

Instead of focusing on the ways in which you feel unattractive, focus on the ways in which your partner turns you on.

Let go of your doubts. You might wonder whether phone sex can be sexy at all. Whatever your doubts are, you need to let them go.

One way to let go of doubts is to write them all down. Simply describing a previous romantic encounter with your partner could be a great start.

You may also find it helpful to discuss your doubts with your partner. That way, you can brainstorm ideas for easing your doubts together.

Part 2 of Play soft music, light candles, use some epsom salts in the water to soften your skin. This might also help you get in the mood.

Play loud music and dance around your room. Dance silly, dance sexy — do whatever makes you feel good and relaxed. Watch some fun videos online — cute animals and funny videos are great relaxation aids.

Prepare for your phone date as you would a physical date. Shower or have a bath, put on some perfume or cologne, and dress in something that you feel good in.

Do your hair and, if you wear makeup, put a little on. Set the scene. Ensure that you're somewhere private not at work, school, or some other public location where you feel comfortable to let go — this will likely be your bedroom or, if you live alone, your living room.

Light some candles and play some soft music. Start feeling sexy. Massage your neck, back, shoulders, thighs, or even your erogenous zones to start getting in the mood before your date begins.

Part 3 of Curb your laughter. Laughing at the wrong time can throw a wrench into any sexual encounter, whether it be in person, online, or on the phone.

If your concerns about laughing are making it difficult for you to enjoy phone sex, it may be best to tell your partner about it ahead of time.

What should we do if I laugh? If you and your partner are really comfortable with each other, then a bit of laughter won't ruin the sexual experience.

Work on recognizing when you're going to have a laughing fit and then kicking it aside, even if you have to acknowledge it before moving on. Fake it until you make it.

What are you up to tonight? Can I tempt you to a phone sex date? Do you have time for a dirty talk date sometime soon? Fam, before you have any kind of sexy relations with someone — in person, video, text, or call — you should find out what nouns and adjectives they like for their bits and bobs.

This exists. What could be a better way to up your dirty dictionary entries than with some page porn? Either opt for shorter, online stories from sites like Sugar Butch Chronicles and Aurore , or read a full-on erotic novel.

Like reading erotica, listening to it exposes you to verbs, nouns, and adjectives you can borrow for your own erotic scenes.

Just listen. CrashPadSeries is an especially good paid porn site for learning consent-based, pleasure-focused phrases. Even if you never plan to introduce video to your sex sesh, you need to limit distractions, says Story.

Now what? There are a few options. Shed your skivvies and reach between your legs. Or, grab your fave buzzy buddy.

Her tip: Go slow. Then, get detailed. Very detailed. Invoke as many senses as you can with your descriptions, she suggests. Again, go slow.

The night it was cold, and we were the only ones around and you gave me that look of yours before pulling me onto the grass? If your partner has a cuckolding fantasy , and they communicate that they want you to, you can tell them about an experience with someone else.

Phone sex can also be a fun space to fantasize about things you never actually want to happen, she says.

For example, maybe you find double penetration painful in person, but think the fantasy of the fullness is hot. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing.

Follow her on Instagram.

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