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I stood under the hot shower of the hostel and traced the contour of my anus. I shared what had transpired with fellow Americans at the hostel, and they sympathized by offering more weed.

Curled in a ball and still high, I passed out. I did not turn in the old man. The world is not all roses, and the crooked timber of humanity will deflower you if opportunities arise.

I returned to the Mother Teresa House the next day. I did not go through the gauntlet of sterilizing medical and legal procedures.

But I suspect that the intensity of psychological distress may be culturally amplified. In contrast to Dionysian Greeks, Christians espoused sacrosanctity of the body and paranoia over organs of pleasure, while also preaching confession and forgiveness.

The global obsession with chastity seems driven not only by evolutionary biology of genital infections and paternal uncertainty, but by the patriarchal structures that sought to ensure male domination over female bodies.

I share my experience not to challenge the authenticity of rape traumas or condone the atrocity of perpetrators. I would like to merely question the perceptions of penetration upon male and female bodies, and also upon white and colored bodies.

If perceptions diverge, then these distinctions should be acknowledged in educating young males about their gender privilege. Life is messy, but I had to pick myself up from the dirt and live.

So I do. Being found innocent in the end is not nearly as much of a relief as not being labeled guilty in the first place. While many famous baseball players are role models, this story is about one who followed a more perverse path.

Just a skosh. I'm a Man, Raped by a Man. Facebook Twitter Love this? I n , when Calvin Burdine was awaiting sentencing for allegedly stabbing his gay lover to death, the prosecuting attorney encouraged the jury in his closing remarks to award Burdine the death penalty, rather than life in prison, on the grounds that sending a gay man to prison was akin to sending a kid to a candy store.

After 17 minutes of deliberation, the jury obliged and sentenced Burdine to die. His death sentence was later overturned mostly because Burdine's public defender had slept through much of his trial , but the homophobic thinking — that prison is some kind of paradise for gay men — lingers on.

The reality of life in prison for homosexuals and transgender individuals does not appear to reflect this myth. One young man named Rodney, imprisoned for fraud and check-forging, sent me a detailed account of his life so far in prison.

He described a litany of brutal rapes, assaults, beatings and, eventually, the total abandonment of his male identity as his only means of survival in the hyper-masculine and often homophobic prison environment.

His account suggests that far from being a paradise, prison for gay men can be a living hell. Within days of his first entering prison, the year-old Rodney claimed he was the victim of three separate sexual assaults, involving five different inmates.

The prison he was first sent to did actually have a separate tier for gay inmates, but according to Rodney, because he did not "appear overly effeminate" during his classification, he was placed with the general population; and because it was supposedly rare to have a gay person slip through the cracks of the system, his fellow inmates took full advantage.

Physical, mental and emotional torture. After being raped, I performed acts by request. It was understood and expected. I had no means to protect myself, being only 23 and scared for my life.

I quickly learned that a snitch is a worse label than a fag. Nothing is heaven about being intimidated into performing sexual acts. It is also rape, just like the three forcible rapes were.

Having my mouth and anus aggressively penetrated by several strangers is anything but. Even though he was thereby essentially enslaved by his new "prison husband", he was grateful — because his days of "being the communal bitch were over".

He said he tried to do whatever his prison husband wanted or needed, including cleaning his cell, washing his clothes, preparing his food, and whatever else his "husband" wanted or needed, including, of course, being available for sex — because "he did what I wanted and needed — kept other inmates off me.

As time wore on and "husbands" came and went, Rodney perfected the art of being a "prison ho", as his only means of surviving intact.

One young man named Rodney, imprisoned for fraud and check-forging, sent me a detailed account of his life so far in prison.

He described a litany of brutal rapes, assaults, beatings and, eventually, the total abandonment of his male identity as his only means of survival in the hyper-masculine and often homophobic prison environment.

His account suggests that far from being a paradise, prison for gay men can be a living hell. Within days of his first entering prison, the year-old Rodney claimed he was the victim of three separate sexual assaults, involving five different inmates.

The prison he was first sent to did actually have a separate tier for gay inmates, but according to Rodney, because he did not "appear overly effeminate" during his classification, he was placed with the general population; and because it was supposedly rare to have a gay person slip through the cracks of the system, his fellow inmates took full advantage.

Physical, mental and emotional torture. After being raped, I performed acts by request. It was understood and expected.

I had no means to protect myself, being only 23 and scared for my life. I quickly learned that a snitch is a worse label than a fag. Nothing is heaven about being intimidated into performing sexual acts.

It is also rape, just like the three forcible rapes were. Having my mouth and anus aggressively penetrated by several strangers is anything but.

Even though he was thereby essentially enslaved by his new "prison husband", he was grateful — because his days of "being the communal bitch were over".

He said he tried to do whatever his prison husband wanted or needed, including cleaning his cell, washing his clothes, preparing his food, and whatever else his "husband" wanted or needed, including, of course, being available for sex — because "he did what I wanted and needed — kept other inmates off me.

As time wore on and "husbands" came and went, Rodney perfected the art of being a "prison ho", as his only means of surviving intact.

This involved establishing a female name and identity, learning how to speak when spoken to, "respect his man" and emasculating himself to the point where he could not stand while urinating.

There is nothing about the experience that could be considered enjoyable. Gay men who do not attempt to hide their sexuality are forced into passive and submissive roles.

To live with some standard of equality, we have to trade in our manhood. For the Nov 3 election: States are making it easier for citizens to vote absentee by mail this year due to the coronavirus.

Each state has its own rules for mail-in absentee voting. Visit your state election office website to find out if you can vote by mail. Sometimes circumstances make it hard or impossible for you to vote on Election Day.

But your state may let you vote during a designated early voting period. You don't need an excuse to vote early. Visit your state election office website to find out whether they offer early voting.

US Edition U. Coronavirus News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Newsletters Coupons. Terms Privacy Policy.

Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Check out the video above to see these nine men get educated!

Calling all HuffPost superfans! Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter.

Join HuffPost. Voting Made Easy. Register now. How to vote.

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